Sunday, June 21, 2015

The bellows of a dream...

An overwhelming feeling of comfort.
Settling in. Settling in.
A look out into the horizon confirms.
Blues, pinks and with hues of orange unknown to human eyes.
The air thick. Movement heavy.

"Boom boom ti"

"Boom boom Ti(sustain)"

The beat, tribal, permeates. Louder. Louder.
Restlessness invades.
Slumber thwarted.

Settle. Settle. Let the color wrap me up and...


Eyes. Glazed. Reaching to wipe the sleep...



The four year old Diva.

On the Drums.

"Good Morning Mom"

"Hmmmm...Mornin' "

*The girl has rhythm...*

*I have been informed, the piano is on its way.*
*Currently the Diva is intently watching a Video of Neil Peart*

Art: Red Sorsdahl Phase : Summer with Chanel No.5 VI
Originally written and posted 8/2006

posted by Jod{i} at 6/21/2015 08:42:00 PM, | What say You?0 comments
Friday, June 19, 2015


Originally written  and posted 2005

An Addendum to the previous Memo:

TO all parties concerned,
And no do not get your hopes up, there are no changes to the previous memo. And yes, we live in a democratic society, here in the US...Albeit, not in this household. And one more NO, there are no mediators/arbitrators/counselors to plead your case.
Okay, so that last one is a fib, I will listen, yet your argument had better be well thought out.

This is just a small addition.(ahem)

Friends are wonderful. Friends are beneficial to the soul. A welcome addition to our space.
Yet, it has become apparent to this office that there are friends that are being ignored.
Blatantly ignored.

This office feels that it would be most advantageous if we had a "re- introduction".

To accomplish this successfully, we must look forward, positively and as a team.
We can and will do accomplish this goal.

The first re-introduction is;

The vacuum.
The decline of this friendship, this office is willing to take a part of the responsibility. Yet notes from this moment on, all responsibilities lies within each and everyone of you. (Yes, even you Diva. And don't give me that look!)

Say it with me: " The vacuum is my friend."
Good. Good.
Remember that cupboard? The one filled with bottles, jugs and whatnots? The whatnots with little symbols of a skull and bones? The one you were ONCE never allowed to go in?

Yeah that one. Forget that direction.
It was a lie. Your hands will not melt if you ever touch them. That was just an easy explanation/skirting, so that at the wee age you were, you wouldn't get hurt.
Wha? It worked didn't it?
Alas, you are now of the age that the truth be revealed. Treat the previous explanation as null and void.
Plus, starting now, so you can learn(brainwashed)trained, for when and if you should ever choose to be involved a relationship at some point in the far off(reallllllllll far off) future.

That yellow spray can? Is called Pledge. See, P-L-E-D-G-E. I hear it has become quite dormant. Collecting dust. Unfortunately not the way it was intended.
The Mr Clean is actually not some bodyguard for the rest of the bottles in there. Actually used to clean*Gasp*.

Say it with me:
"Cleaning products are our friends" (when used properly)

The broom.
Not my only mode of transportation.
The more important function of this item and why we try to become one with the broom, is we, this office, has a concern with the freeloaders. These freeloaders, dust bunnies in some parts of the world, are increasing their population. We are investigating the allegations of a coup. Yet we can take control of this immediately and not have to resort to a "population control" program.

TO do so, becoming one with the broom is imperative.
Come on, say it with me:
:The broom......Ohmmmmm...I am one with the broom"
Good, Very good.

Those two rather large machines in the basement? They are NOT a mini amusement park for your enjoyment. I know, I see the surprise on your face. They spin for other purposes, not just to hear "How cool marbles sound" or a bubble making machine on a grand scale.
They actually clean *Gasp again with that word* clothes.
Yes. Yes 'tis true.
Now as stated in the earlier memo, The bringdowntheclothes fairy etal, have been let go due to the budget and some restructuring.
In order for those two machines to work properly, they need three essential items.
  1. Laundry.(Ergo, get it down stairs)
  2. Water.
  3. Detergent.
There will be a further task analysis completed and reviewed by the end of this week. In the meantime it would behoove you all to take responsibility of completing the now vacant positions.
That is if you don't want to wear the button down Oxford and dockers that has been in your closet for a year now.
Say it with me:
"Laundry is cool"
I think you are getting the hang of this now.

On that note, this office will end, as not to interfere with too much information, too quickly to muddle the mind.
Please be sure to review these points over the next week. As performance reviews are to be implemented. Increases or decreases will be reflected in your paycheck. And I know your penchant for preserving the traditional Friday mall stroll is a priority.
As always this office has an open door policy(Unless company pops in).
Please feel free to discuss amongst yourselves and NOT forward complaints to this office. Although I know the VP(dad) is more than willing to listen.
Next memo will address proper dish washing, placing of washed items in the proper area and the stacking of said items.
Until then, Remember, "Cleaning is our friend."
Good. Good.

Sincerely and with Love
143 Mom


posted by Jod{i} at 6/19/2015 12:00:00 AM, | What say You?0 comments
Thursday, June 18, 2015


TO: The Family(mainly the little people who reside)
FROM: The Accountant, the nurse, the teacher, the personal shopper, the laundry lady, the seamtress, the grocery shopper, the cook, the chef, and the candlestick maker(okay so the last one is fake)-AKA MOM

RE: Budget

It has come to the Accountant's attention that the budget is in fiscal disaster. Hence leading to the drastic measures that will be outlined furthermore as we proceed.

The grocery shopper has been spoken to as well and will be following the NEW guidelines ,like yesterday.

The maid is now on her own and has enlisted the assistance of those who reside in the dwelling. Due to what the accountant has stated, we the conglomerate, known as Mom and Dad, have let go, fired, canned the following(in other words remove the following delusions from your brains):

-the toilet flusher fairy
-The garbage fairy, who worked closely with the putanewbaginthepail fairy
-the bring the clothes downstairs fairy, again, who works with bringtheclothesup fairy
-the feed the animals, amphibians,etal fairy
- the Turn offthelights fairy(and any OTHER electronic device)
-The automatic(insert neurotic)toypickerupper is broke.
and any other little delusional character that one may have stuck in their gray matter, is now and forever gone. Off to find employment in other abodes.

Also, to reiterate an earlier memo:
RE: The phone.

It has become apparent that certain members of the family continue to utilize The Mom's cell phone number to reach said Mom for, what one can only assume are important from the callers perspective: Snacks.
Please utilize office(land phone) number to reach Mom. UNLESS there is blood, broken bones,etc that was discussed in the earlier memo.

The family grocer(shopper) has also made note that, the food consumption(gluttony) has reached epic form. This needs to be curtailed, or drastic measures will be examined, written and implemented. The money tree in the backyard, has suffered through a drought and doesn't look as it will be replenished anytime soon.

This is the LAST warning!

Heed well my minions.

This list is agreed upon all said parties(since you are all minors I get that vote) and is henceforth now implemented. Any changes to said memo/guidleines is at the full discretion of Mom(so dont try and loophole through Dad!)
Mom reserves the right, at will(CT is an AT Will state) to change, modify, amend, as she sees fit.

Any questions will be answered promptly and usually No(so not true)...But take your chances and We'll see. (we'll see is another statement for NO).

Sincerely and with Love,


This was/is inspired greatly from those children I adore...Yes my own! ;) And is in addition to
these earlier posts:
Idontknow, not me <--- a="" as="" been="" copy="" deleted.="" do="" due="" had="" have="""" href="" i="" in="" is="" journal="" link="" need="" not="" that="" the="" time.="" time="" to="" transpose="" which="" working="">Chapter 2 The Guidelines
And Jenny over at Jennyology recently wrote a GREAT little piece on parenting. Go Check her out!
Also, Charles, asks a great question, with a great observation over at Am I thinking that?
Which brought to mind this:
With the horror of the news from Colorado, which has been plastered all over the News...There is one bit of 'news' that has been mentioned, yet not exploded like the media does so well. The parents of the slain young lady, Emily, has requested that people do one thing in memory of their daughter. DO ONE RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS FOR SOMEONE. Just because.
The media of course mention this briefly(as the family gave out pink ribbons with Random acts of kindness written on them)--as this is a testament, as the type of individual Emily was, according to family and friends.
So I challenge you ALL. Do A RANDOM act of kindness. Just Because. Let me know....


If you haven't signed up yet, why not? Gotta trust me on this...
eXlinks...GO NOW!
For an EXCLUSIVE interview on the ins and outs, Mr Fab, yes our very own dear one who writes at Pointless Drivel...interviewed one of the it HERE!

posted by Jod{i} at 6/18/2015 12:00:00 AM, | What say You?0 comments
Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Playgrounds, Spaceships and Us

 *Orignally written August 5 2005*

Today was a day of....of...
No big hurry for anything. No big plans. I have made a
decision! Woo Hoo!!!
To make a point of living.
Something besides existing to exist. There is moving
forward. And then there is just going through the motions under the false pretense of moving forward.
I woke up today with a feeling of needing to do something.
The plan?
A run through the house...the dirt can wait AND if you're
THAT close...You're toooo close.
As the children awoke from their slumber, one by one, here
and there. Making themselves busy with the busy stuff they do.
Eating, rambling nonsensical stuff(to which I reply..."uh
huh"), venturing out to the neighbors tag sale. I lounged in and out of the house, wandering about with no particular order or fashion of anything impending...the world could and was going to live without me.
A sense of a "sigh", a calm.
I decided one errand. One only. The mission? To buy my
great nephew a birthday present. Anything that would make noise, music, functioned with a lot of banging...CLATTER CLATTER!!! (pay back is a
When that mission was was off to the
playground. Yes, I said playground...(Why does everyone keep asking me that???)
Jus' me and the children.
Felt like it.
After we cashed in our change, bought the birthday boy a
fine assortment of this and that. Toys that will enlighten his dear little precious heart and bring with it all the LOUD memories of these days. (HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY JAYDEN!)...Oh the noise this child will be able to make, has just brought a wondrous smile to my face and a giddiness with the thought of his mother(my neice and goddaughter) cringing. "AAAHHHH"
We head for the park.
The park, we chose has just recently been reconstructed.
Two new playscapes and a slew of swings! FUN!
The children made their much to do! So many
things. Each child making earnest attempt at doing all of it within the first five minutes of our arrival.The bursts of energy were astounding(silly Teen...didn't realize I was watching...hmm he can move). Each running by me and each other. The sounds of their glee...warming to this heart. Yelling to each other. Smiling at each other.Laughing WITH each other.
I sat back and relished the view.
One clambered up the plastic rock wall.
One slid down the fire pole with an ease of a seasoned
The Teen attempting to fit through the play-scape designed
for two year olds.
And Otto....well...Otto is just Otto. His imagination soaring.
Rippling through his noggin. His eyes darting back and forth with such a happy face. So nice to see that face.
And then the Diva...Running and laughing. Grabbing my
hand..."Let's swing Mommy"
Yes lets.
A moment in time. I was whisked away to that little girl, I
remember. I had forgotten how much I loved to swing. That feeling in the pit of the stomach as I went higher and higher. My eyes closed. The smell, the breeze, the sounds.The chatter of kids, the groan of the chain. Feeling of freedom. A missed bliss. Interrupted promptly with,"Mommy?"
Back to now.
Nice to relive.
I meandered off the swing and returned to my relegated
"adult" bench.
For the next hour I watched them.
I mean, I sat in awe of them. Wow. Each one at such a
different phase of life. These four children, born from me. Where did it all go? The teen, now growing a mustache. And the longer a baby. Wow.
All these thoughts bounced around as I sat and just soaked
it all in. How well they really got along. Playing together. A team. No arguments. At all. (I know scary huh?)
They are really good kids.
Their sense of humor so in tune with each other and yet
they are each so independent of each other. So very different from each other. Yet it fits all together.
Amazed at the Teen and his compassion. He such a giving
kid. Taking time with the utmost of patience for his younger siblings. TO help boost this one or tie a shoe there. Outstanding.
I know I am inherently biased...He really is a good kid. At
that cusp. One moment wanting and playing spaceship with them and the next moment talking with dear old mom about Culinary School and his future. Whew...
Otto just flits about, playing hard, the goof ball, the family
clown with the captivating smile and a giggle as contagious. His eyes catching mine and tossing me that smile. Oh my eclectic little son.
CJ? He is the bull. Keeps on running. Never stops. Plows
through one activity to the next. Stopping to sit with me and inquire, "Whatcha doin Mom?" and "Why are spaceships called spaceships?" before I could even answer, He stated, "Because they go in space?" and off he went running to the monkey bars...I guess so CJ...I guess so.
Diva? Well, she claimed her own spaceship and exclaimed,
Well hell....I sat there with the biggest shit eating
beaming with a smile and an inward chuckle. Secretly saying "You go girl!"
The boys decided to revolt and planned a hostile take over.
She put up a good fight(pouty lips and eyes)....
CJ caved and claimed her the "Captain", mind you the Teen
and Otto shot each other looks, then looked to their sweet innocent sister, as she stood there, hands on hips and a "whatcha gunna do bout it" glare.
Again, I sat with just a smile and a whispered, hee hee.
Then like clockwork...each climbed to a swing. I stared at them for a bit and realized they were in unison again. Lined up by age and swinging in rhythm.
At that very moment, the park had a beautiful silence.
Just me.
Just them.
Lost in our thoughts.

Don't kid yourself. Did not last too long. Long enough to sear into my memory though.
Then the moment of chaos begins.
When chaos begins, what soon follows? The drama...
At the first sign of drama, we pack it up.
It happened.
Our time had come for us to return to the homestead.
All the way home, each child relived the spaceship, the
swings, the treck in the woods. Proclaiming fun and the need to do this more often.
More often.

We will.
It was a glorious, beautiful day.
Not just in the weather.
The spirit.
A peaceful day.
A fun day.
We lived.

Hope ya'll had a great day as well!!!!!!!!!



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posted by Jod{i} at 6/16/2015 12:00:00 AM, | What say You?0 comments
Monday, June 15, 2015

Stirrings from a caffiene deprived brain...

*Originally written and posted October 10,2005*

Okay now that I have destroyed my kitchen and made every pancake maker in the world ashamed....I cant make them for the life of me. I am really great cook. I take those bragging rights. Pastry? I got it down. Dinner for 6? or 20. or even 100. Not a problem. Just dont ask me for anything that needs to be flipped, unless its a table in brawl. LOL...kidding. I am I am.
Omelets? Okay so what if you get scrambled eggs with stuff in it...It began as an omelet...Pancakes, its made with buttermilk, it mixed like pancakes, it began as a pancake, even tastes like one. Who cares if its shaped like Rhode Island or Texas!
Still a freakin' pancake/omelet. Technically? When it all goes down...its all the same.

Right now we under a Flood Warning. I live a whole quarter mile from the Connecticut River, which is well above flood stage. Many have had to evacuate that live by the water. The Man went down yesterday to check it out, the water is raging. Thirty boats, about 15 miles North of us, came loose from their moors and were floating down. Our way. We will all be fine, we are high enough up. Even though it will get worse, this storming activity has caused Keene NH to flood. WHich means all that overflow is headed this way. My heart goes to those in NH, many have lost everything. Many small towns in that area, some sections of town are now gone.

Spent yesterday in bookstores. Yes that is plural. I am looking for a particular book, I can not find. I can order it, yet I want it NOW. So, I bought other books that will sit. Why? I want the other book NOW! I spent three hours in B&N with the Diva. We make quite the adventure about going! I actually bought Christmas gifts too! Woo Hoo! Two gifts down! I could seriously buy all the gifts there for my kids. They are easy like that! THe Teen is particularily fond of Escher and Matisse. Oh I shant leave out Poe. So he begged and promised all these wonderful chores he'd do, if I'd buy him the Complete works of Poe.
On my second run, off to Waldens, all the children came. I bought it. He can almost recite the Raven by heart. And I won't call him on the chores. He's a good kid, and it is Poe for Cripes!
 I love the fact that all four have this love for Bookstores. I dont usually say No when they ask to buy something there.
My queue?
Ahab's Wife; In the Hand of Dante;(bought those yesterday, started it);also Davinci Code(Just cant pick it up, I loved Angels&Demons); The Poisonwood Bible(started)....I cant get into anything due to I want The Queen's Man by Penman. Sigh. I have accepted that I have to order it and now wait. Bleah.Oh yes and The Historian and Lovely Bones.
I was going over what I did read over the Summer: Fifteen books. Think I like to read. LOL.

Roughly printed in early 1900's I believe. Not sure. Can not find any info on it, anywhere. This was my excitement for the week! Woo Hoo! I am such a geek.
Amazingly, there is no page that gives the information of the Press or year. The binding is all faded and rubbed off. Some of the pages look as if it may have been in a fire or near one. Anyway...I love it, I find it to be a neat find.....Any info? Throw it my way!

I just finished chatting via "IM" with my Teen. He is upstairs. How sad is that? LOL.
He knows of my quest to find the book and has made the generous offer to go to a mall, 15 miles south. Ya know, to help me look for my book. Hmm mmm....Has nothing to do with the fact that the store Hot Topic is there, or some really cool underground music stores or there. Nahhhh he really wants to help his Ol' Ma....

One other thought, before ya'll fall into a deep hypnotic state...My Otto, the 9yr old.
I have often written about him and his quirkiness. The Man and I sat on the stoop this morning, chatting and feeding the squirrels. We really believe that he just sees this messed up blue ball through such different eyes. He always been a contemplater, a thinker. Even as a toddler, learning to speak, he would say things that would just blow me away. Not too much surprises me. Except him.
I have always been a thinker, accused of being too cerebral. Analyzing too much. Nah, this child has me beat. I hear of something horrific occurring and I think. I put myself there. What was this person thinking when this occurred? Did they say this or that? Blah blah...Sometimes to the point, it would really upset me. Otto does this as well. The difference between him and I? He says these thoughts out loud. Ikeep my dark thoughts where they lie. {You know those dark thoughts that if we were to really say out loud? People would start to back up or think you've lost your mind?}
The other day, I was reading a script and he sat down with me at the table. He knew I was reading and was careful not to disturb me. I have a love for candles, so they are always lit throughout the house. The table in the kitchen has 7, they were all going but one.
He was being unnaturally quiet for him, I looked at him from the corner of my eye. He was lost in the candles.
Then out of nowhere:
"Candles are so much like life." (remember he is 9)
"How so?"
"Well look at them. They sway. We move around them and little bursts of air make them sway."
"Okay, how is this like life."
"Well, the once in a while, the flame bursts. Really bright. Like if there is chaos. And sometimes it sparks. Then it settles. And then sways. Like the calm does return eventually. Sometimes, after time they go out, cant light it again, its just out. Like life."
I sat there staring at these candles. Damn. TO think like that. He amazes me. Like the Dhali Lama at nine sometimes.
"Wow Otto that was reallllly insightful"
"Huh? Oh, yea whatever. Can I go to Chris' and have my allowance?"
Lmao....ah yes....he is 9.

Stumbling on........

Live in the sway......

Photobucket *EDITED from original post*

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posted by Jod{i} at 6/15/2015 12:00:00 AM, | What say You?0 comments
Friday, June 12, 2015

Chapter 2:"The Guidelines"

*Repost originally written October 2005*


TO: Teen, Otto
FROM: Parents(mainly, your mother)
CC: CJ, Diva (in hopes we catch them early enough)

RE: Review of the Guidelines

It has come to my (Mom) attention that there may be some miscommunication in the ranks. Therefore, I feel it is necessary for a review of said guidelines ( originated 1992, revised 1995, 1999, 2001,2004) at this time.

Phone Privileges:
These privileges may be revoked at anytime, for any violation of these guidelines. This revocation is at the full discretion of parents.

Violations may include, yet not limited to the following:
1. Calling Mom at work
A. Do not call Mom and inquire, "Whatcha doin?"
B. Do not call Mom to tell her about "a really, really cool website".
C. Do not call Mom's cellphone, which is a company phone( interpretation: The agency is billed for ALL incoming AND outgoing calls) to inquire if you can have grapes, hot dogs or a cookie.
D. Do not call Mom back on the cell phone two minutes later, especially after she just finished explaining to you NOT to call her on that number. Then proceed to ask if you can make kool-aid. Or to tell me a funny joke you heard on 'Ed, Edd and Eddy'. { Jus so you get the visual, Otto speaks really close to the phone with many long pauses, and a play by play of the episode} E. Do not call Mom to inform her there are police all over and then hang up. And then, NOT answer the phone when she attempts to return the call. PLEASE.
2. When you SHOULD call:
A. When there is blood.
B. When there is the possibility of broken bones.
C. When/If your sibling is unconscious. (Not sleeping)
D. When you feel unsafe.

The phone is not an appendage to your head. Mom appreciates that you have many friends and you like to reach out and touch someone. But, through a whole episode of 'Avatar'??? You are not even talking!
Amazingly, your father and mother do occasionally need to utilize the phone. I know shocking. We do and may be expecting an important call(not really shhhhh....) Ed McMahon may be calling.
Should there be an audible "beep", while you are conversing on said phone, flash over and answer the call. In this regard, we will be having a skill class following this review as a refresher or for those still unclear on how to accomplish this task.

All violations of said guidelines will be processed through proper protocol according to Policy.
First violation: Counseling.
Second Violation: Verbal warning
Third Violation: Termination of privileges for a period of time TBD at said time of violation.

If you wish to file a grievance, you may process the proper paperwork(See Paperwork)
(There is NO paperwork section)And submit this paperwork to the proper authorities(Mom). At which time she will review and process in a timely fashion(When she gets to it and/ or feels like it)
Said paperwork will be kept on file at the local archives,(AKA Local town dump/transfer station) Please Recycle.
There is no upper authority to go to, so do not ask your father. He will just send you back to your mother.

If you have any further questions or concerns........................

Sigh....Oh well, I don't know what to tell ya....

Please sign your agreement(there is no decline in this agreement) and return to your mom ASAP.

Thank you.


The Dictator,ummm... I mean.... Mom "143"

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
— Herm Albright

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posted by Jod{i} at 6/12/2015 07:24:00 PM, | What say You?0 comments
Wednesday, January 28, 2015

*What goes bump in the day*

*Stream of Conscious Thought* or *What goes bump in the day*
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting We spend an awful lot of time seeking out what isn't there. What will never be there. Checking, rechecking a constant reassurance there isn't any goblins hiding away. Just waiting to snatch our soul.
Shadows creep. They crawl. For some, they slither.
When the night comes, the shadows are more ominous. This mystery of what it is that sinks inside you. That dwells where none should truly be...And there it sits.

Years and years of looking behind every wall, in every corner and even "under the bed".
Seeking out what is not there.
Too many of us don't look beyond. TO the obvious.
that would be just too easy. And less dramatic as well.

Stop looking where that perception of fear lies...And just look out in front.

Visible reality. You know something is true when there is a shadow.
Even in death, there is still remains a shadow.
Envisioning evil dwellings inside the gray matter. Ritual dances of 'lore.
Searching and finding that which holds no value. Images filled with negativity.
They aren't creeping up on you. They creep with you.
Sometimes standing so close, the stench of a breath would sicken the hardest. Staring you down.
Look at me! Look at me! I am right here you fool!

Dance with them!

Shadows are not cowards. They do not hide.
When one no longer sees a shadow, it is just that much closer to you, you can't see it.

Yet you feel it.
That uneasiness. The discomfort of what is wrong.

Looking for that answer in nooks and the crevices. Like a moth to light, gravitating to...

It is not there, my friend.
the quest to place a name on all that crawls inside, to assign blame and to embrace validation that your mind sees those shadows.
Wasting time.
What is done is done, who did and why is irrelevant to a solution.
Move on...
We spend too many precious hours(hours!) attempting to be heard on who is at fault, and the retribution of brimstone.

Acknowledge is the true.
Just to have the acknowledgement. To hear the words, "I hear you"... And no more.
Giving permission with this simple statement, permission to move forward. No longer stuck in a quagmire of solitude and desperate desire to be vindicated.

Shivering in this perspective.
The skew of inner depth perception.
Impending doom.
Of what hides.

Hides in the shadows.


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posted by Jod{i} at 1/28/2015 07:46:00 PM, | What say You?0 comments